I think I'm adapting to this hermit-ish lifestyle slightly toooo well. I just want to stay at home and watch dvds and I can't really be bothered to go out anymore. So like the past week has been prom shopping. of heels and dresses and accessories. I found the perfect cloth to make my dress! crossing my fingers, I hope it turns out nice.



I have no idea who this girl is but she's gorgeous!

Final days

Is it better to run away from the truth or face the music but end up a hundred times sadder?

Running away is always easier...

I am such a coward.

“I don't know who invented high heels, but all women owe him a lot”











“You put high heels on and you change.” -Manolo Blahnik

P.s. I need help with my camera settings! Everything is so grainy..

Alright, yknow what. I won't talk about it, won't discuss it, it's over and done with. And I have surrendered it all into the Lord's hands, and I'm going to leave it that way :) for now, LIFE BEGINS.

And just like that, it whizzed by

It wasn't supposed to happen like this thisthisthisthis. Seriously, why.. I keep closing my eyes and hoping that when I open them time will rewind and I wouldn't have made such stupid mistakes, wouldn't have celebrated so early, and things would all be okay. Absolutely fine. And I would have ended my econs paper on a high.

One step closer to my dreams



In about two weeks time, this will all be over. And I will finally be able to be human again. I'm looking forward to every single moment of that.

Aaaand you. You you you you you will never know, I've come to realise that. But I can't blame you for that. All I can do is to sit here, hoping that maybe through some miraculous turn of events these letters will scramble and unscramble themselves so that they will spell out the very things I cannot/dare not say. But even then, it will just fall short of everything that I've ever contemplated in my head. Words always do. They do everything but say things plainly, honestly, coherently. They confuse you. And me.

This is why you will never know.

"When it feels like my dreams are so far, sing to me of the plans that You have for me over again"

There's a song that's inside of my soul
It's the one that I've tried to write
over and over again
I'm awake and in the infinite cold
But You sing to me over and over and
over again

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands
And pray to be only Yours
I pray to be only Yours
I know now You're my only hope

Sing to me of the song of the stars
Of Your galaxy dancing and laughing
and laughing again
When it feels like my dreams are so far
Sing to me of the plans that You have
for me over again

I give You my apathy
I'm giving You all of me
I want Your symphony
Singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs I'm giving it back